Watch Out for That Tree!

Spiraling Into and Out of Control

Watch out! Black ice! Slip, slide, spinning, spinning, careening down the side of the mountain, screaming, then CRASH, BANG, blood, pain. As I looked out of the windshield all I saw was a gigantic tree. Continue reading

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Out of Nowhere

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I am writing a very short post this week. I want to apologize in advance for any rambling, I just brought my husband home from the hospital, he had a stroke.
It affected his vision and left eye in particular. This will be a very frustrating, emotional journey to wellness for him.pexels.com/…/battle-blaze-burn-burnt-260397

I still will continue my medicine-free journey. To date I have gone from 375mg of venlaflaxine to 112mg and intend to go down to 75mg in March. I was going to go down this month but I feel with what our family is dealing with that I should maintain my dosage.

Continuing to reduce the venlafaxine has been physically challenging. My gut has been

battle blaze burn burnt
Water is not enough!!

complaining. Constipation, intense cramps, and then, explosion!

Given our new circumstances, I do not expect to control my physical or emotional symptoms in the near future. Intention for down the road of time is all I can process immediately. What has happened has rocked our family to the very core and the withdrawal/side effects will not ease until the stress does. Hopefully I will get a handle on them soon. It is hard to go out anywhere knowing you could, at any time, need immediate access to a bathroom. I have been dealing with this for such a long time. It had actually eased at the beginning of last summer but has returned full force.

Pain is the worst symptom and nothing really helps to relieve it until BAM!. You catch my drift. My husband and I will be working steadily to reduce the stress all around us. Meditation will become a daily practice. Maybe yoga later down the road.

This has caused a slight road block on the journey to wellness but it has not stalled it. I have been able to remain strong for Dan (my husband) but inside I feel lost. I told my son that I could not bear to lose his father, I would be unable to cope. It is frustrating that there is nothing I can do to make this better. I do not have a magic wand like Hermione, and Madam Pomfrey I am not. (Harry Potter) What I have to give is hugs, kisses, support.

My anxiety is internalized. It will manifest with physical symptoms as I described above. This is the way it reveals itself.  However, to this point I remain stable, my depression has not worsened, and I remain positive. There are still so many things to be thankful for, number one being, he is alive. Positivity is key though not always easy to maintain. We are keeping a daily journal using writing as one mechanism to relieve stress. I find writing so helpful to me. Keeping a journal of blood pressure, and events/feelings each day, we can follow the progress to good health.

This journey will be a long one but one that has already brought us closer together, as if 35 years with 30 married has not been enough! Something I learned from Mari Windsor on of her Pilates videos, “Enough, for me it is never enough!”.  Love keeps us strong, God makes us stronger.

Until next week…

 

A Little of This and a Little of That

Hi! I have started and re-started this blog for what seems like for-eeever! So many excuses, I’m too tired, what should I write, what if no-one reads it, and the list goes on and on. Well, I’m here now to begin my life as a blogger/story teller/purveyor of interesting information.

I am interested in so many things that I actually get stuck on what to focus on. In light of this discovery I will write on different things that relate to my life, experience, and general interest.

I, like many people out there, am a victim of depression and anxiety. What?? Such a taboo subject but I’m not afraid to admit my struggle and hopefully help fellow strugglers. Continue reading

The Journey Begins

Welcome! And thank you for joining me on what I hope will be a wild ride. I am new to blogging so give me a chance, leave constructive comments, ideas for blogs, and I’ll strive to give you awesome content. So sit back and relax ’cause all you need to do is learn. No effort needed.